Do I long for Christ's appearing?

I do. I want to say that I do. I desire for Christ to return and finish the work that He started in me. But I also desire to watch my children grow up. I desire to hold my grandchildren in my arms. I desire to retire so that I can spend more time doing Kingdom work. The problem is that the desire for Christ to return isn't always the strongest desire that I feel.

2 Peter 3:11-12 tells me that because the world and everything around us will one day be destroyed in fire, I should live a holy and godly life, looking forward to the day of God and hurrying it along. When I am looking towards the future things of this world, I am not trying to usher in the day of the Lord. I am actually thinking about the postponement of His return. If in my mind, my children have their own families, it is because Jesus didn't come back sooner. If He comes back 3 days from now, the things that I want to see happen won't.

Things much better than I can imagine will happen, though.

Every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord.

Tears, pain, sorrow, death, and sin will be destroyed - forever.

We will spend eternity with God.

That is my problem. I can hardly type these things, much less imagine what they would be like to see. But from the limited, corruptible flesh that I currently live in, I can kind of imagine what having adult children and grandchildren would feel like. I can picture retiring and spending more time in ministry. That is a shame. My shame. I want to want Him more. I fight my old nature daily that I might seek Him more today than yesterday. Someday He will finish the work He started in me. Until then, the battle is long and tiresome. I get caught up in the world I live in and often take my eyes off of the world that will come with His return. It can be hard to think of a world without suffering and pain when we are in one right now.

But the one who endures to the end will be saved. And I want to be saved. So, I endure. When I stumble, I look to Him, and He helps me back up. I don't always fix my eyes on Him, but I am getting better. I don't always long for His return, but I long to long for His return. I am a work in progress, one that He will never forsake. So are all who call on His name.